学生之家

Being well liked is what most people want in relationships. The benefits are obvious. You will get the help you need at the time you need it. People will give you information about new opportunities you didn’t know before. Above all, they will really care and love you.

But how could you get other people to like you? How could you become a well liked person? There is actually just one simple rule to follow: you should like other people before they like you. When people realize that you like them, it’s very likely that they will also like you.

Regarding this, I believe that there is one and just one message you need to deliver in your relationships. Delivering this message is the key to strong relationships, and here it is:

You are important to me.

That’s it. No more, no less. Not “your money” nor “your knowledge”, but “you” - as a person - are important to me. Anything you should do in relationships stems from this message. There more you succeed in delivering this message, the more people will like you.

So here I’d like to share 33 tips on how to deliver this message in your relationships. Consequently, these are also tips to become a well liked person. Here they are:

1. Give your contacts a big smile when you meet them. Make them feel that you are really happy to meet them.

2. Give your full attention to the people you converse with as if nothing else is important.

3. When they ask for your attention, leave whatever you are doing.

4. When they call you, greet them with enthusiasm as if you are longing for their call.

5. Don’t make them wait.

6.Print the list of your contacts and look at it in your spare time. It will remind you of whom to touch base.

7.Always reply your contacts’ emails and text messages.

8.Reply their emails and text messages in the first chance you get.

9.Shake their hands with enthusiasm.

10.Praise them sincerely when they do something good. Make them feel that you are proud of them.

11.Always return their calls.

12.Send a message to them on their birthdays. Even better, call them.

13.Drop your old contacts quick emails or text messages to ask how they are doing.

14.Remember their names and achievements.

15.Remember important facts about them, especially the things they really care about (you may want to write them down).

16.Introduce them to the people in your contact who may help them out.

17.Actively find the deepest needs they may have (without waiting for them to explicitly tell you).

18.Take initiative to give them the solutions they need.

19.Give thanks for them in your session of gratitude.

20.Mention their names in your prayer.

21.Talk with them about their life.

22.Ask them specific questions about things they care about. They will realize that you care enough to remember their facts.

23.Give them something precious you have. Time is a good candidate.

24.Go eat with them. Even better, treat them.

25.When you meet them, don’t look at your watch as if you have something more important to do.

26.When you talk to them, don’t look over their shoulder as if you are looking for someone more important to talk to.

27.Send them quick tips or articles you just found which may benefit them.

28.Message them encouraging words or quotes.

29.Lend them the best books or DVDs you have.

30.Talk to them about how you like your other friends. They will think that you may talk the same way about them.

31.Don’t talk negatively to them about how you don’t like your other friends. They will think that you may also talk the same way about them.

32.Occasionally mention their names in your conversation with them.

32.Be creative to give them small surprises every now and then.

惹人喜爱，是大多数人在人际交往过程中想要达到的。益处很显然，就是在你需要帮助的时候，将会得到更多双援助之手，人们会给你带来你从来都不知道的关于新契机的信息。总之，他们会真正地关心你，呵护你。

但是，怎样才能使别人喜欢上自己呢？怎样才能让自己变得惹人喜爱呢？实际上只有一条简单的规则：在别人喜欢你之前，去喜欢别人。当人们意识到你喜欢他们时，很自然的，他们也会喜欢上你的。

对于这一点，我相信有而且仅仅只有一点信息在人际交往上需要传达。传递这个信息是增强友谊的关键，那就是：

你，对于我很重要。

对，就是这一点。没有别的了。不是“你的钱”，“你的学识”，而只是“你”-你的人-对我很重要。在交际中你做的任何事情都源于此。所以，你表达的这一信息越多，就会有越多的人喜欢你。

那么，我愿意与你分享33条关于怎样在交际中传达这则信息的建议。当然，这也是让你变得惹人喜爱的建议。如下：

1.遇见别人的时候，予以灿烂的微笑。让他们感到你很快乐，很乐于与其相处。

2.把全身的注意力都集中在与你谈话的人身上，忽略其他。

3.当别人与你说话的时候，无论正在做什么，放下手边的工作。

4.当别人登门拜访的时候，热情的接待，就好像你很期待他们。

5.别让他人等待。

6.列出与熟人往来的单子，最好打印出来，有空儿的时候看看。它会提示你，最近和谁，该联系联系了。

7.永远记得回邮件,短消息。

8.回复别人的e-mail与短消息，在你有机会回复的第一时间里。

9.握手，要热情。

10.别人做的非常好的时候，真诚的赞美。让他们感到你的欣赏。

11.拜访，记得回访。

12.别人生日时，发短信送去祝福。当然，打个电话再好不过了。

13.对于许久没有回复的信息，删掉的同时尽快发去邮件或短信，与他们保持联系。

14.要记得别人的名字与成就。

15.记下对于别人重要的事情，尤其是他们最关心的（也许可以写下来）

16.别人向你求助，如果有帮得上忙的朋友，可以引荐给他。

17.主动的雪中送炭（而不是等别人向你求助）。

18.率先提供给别人解决问题的办法。

19.向别人致谢，用以感恩的心。

20.祷告的时候提到他们的名字。

21.与人攀谈时，可以聊聊关于他的生活。

22.对于别人关心的事情，具体询问。他们会体感觉到你的体恤。

23.与别人分享对你来说珍贵的东西。时间是最好的候选者。

24.一同吃饭。当然，最好不过的，是自己来下厨招待。

25.与别人相处时，不要总是看表。会使人误解你有很重要的事情去做。

26.与人说话，不要看着别人的肩膀。那使你看上去很急于结束对话。

27.给别人介绍好的引荐或文章。

28.发短信，多写一些鼓舞的文字或引用。

29.如果有的话，借给别人你最喜爱的书籍或电影。

30.与人交谈，常说说朋友的好话。那样，在他的背后，也会认为你会如此谈论他。

31.不要背地里讲朋友的坏话。这样，在他的背后，说到他的时候，他也会这么认为。

32.交谈中，偶尔提到对方的名字。

33.时常给别人富有创造力的小小惊喜。